Faker Fox
- So, did they or didn't they? Go to the Moon,
I mean. The Fox TV network has an undistinguished record in the field
of television documentaries. The network motto could well be "Never
Let the Facts Get in the Way of a Good Story" In fact the word
documentary is not really accurate in describing the ill-researched,
biased, sensationalist drivel that they unashamedly peddle. Earlier
instances of such tabloid TV are "Signs from
God" and the deplorable "Powers
of the Paranormal: Live on
Stage!" which incidentally featured, amongst others, the
self-publicist, second rate conjurer and cutlery curver Uri
Geller, an old favorite of 80. The
latest program in this vein aired on February 15th in the US and will
doubtless be inflicted on the rest of the world in due course. Any
residual goodwill that 80 might have felt
towards Fox for "The Simpsons" evaporated with the broadcast of
"Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon?".
The hoary old idea that the Apollo Moon landings were faked up in a film
studio somewhere has been around for a good few years though why Fox has
chosen to revive it now is a puzzle. ( A desire for cheap ratings and
contempt for the viewers' intelligence is a strong possibility) The only
opposing view was from the late Brian Welch from NASA
PAO - and these were short selective quotes from a man who could not
have seen the finished program.
OJ on Mars, not!
-
Fox's farrago is possibly a case of
life imitating (poor) art in the form of the 1978 movie Capricorn
One. This piece of tosh tells the story of NASA's plot to fake a Mars
landing when the real mission proves too technically challenging.
Then an intrepid reporter
(not from Fox) finds out the cover-up and the murders begin. Featuring
actors of the caliber of Telly Savalas
and O J Simpson (Simpson's character cuts and runs from the
murders - spooky deja vu!) the movie was inexplicably provided with
technical advice by NASA itself! What on Mars did they think they were
doing? Perhaps the old "all publicity is good publicity" adage
held sway at the time. If so times have changed and the agency has issued
a rebuttal
to Fox citing among other more obvious points the fact of
the existence on Earth of what are indisputably 363
kilograms of Moon
rocks. It also helps to imagine the field day the Soviets would
have had over such a hoax and you can bet they were following and tracking
the Apollo missions veerrry closely.
Bad Astronomy Good
-
The NASA page notwithstanding the best web
site that deals with the "hoax
that wasn't" is a site that 80 has
intended to feature for some
time, Phil Plait's Bad
Astronomy. Not only does it comprehensively
trash the Fox nonsense but also deals with a range of other topics. Most
fun is a review of several "space" movies pointing out where
occasionally Hollywood got it right and rather more often, abysmally
wrong. This is done in a lighthearted fashion but nevertheless makes the
point that authenticity and research can add to and not detract from a
good story. Space Cowboys, Armageddon and Contact are featured but not
Capricorn One - after all they never went
anywhere. Bad Astronomy - highly recommended.
Mars Wreck
- Now please indulge 80
a moment while we revisit another daft idea that won't go away - yes it's Face
on Mars time again! Well no, not really, this time you will be
relieved to know this has nothing to do with Richard Hoagland and his Face
nuts. This neatly laid out site looks again at the outcrop of rock at
Cydonia
Mensae and sees not a face but a crashed
spaceship (described by the site's originator as "a
somewhat farfetched
theory" - somewhat is not the half of it)The author of this
site, We Must
Go has a neat set of
buttons next to the images of Martian landscapes
which when pressed superimpose the features and markings (hallucinations?)
that he/she apparently sees. 80 must
admit that after exhaustive and close examination of the evidence
presented here the crashed spaceship theory is at least as likely as a
face - but see Aliens
about Face. (Navigation of the We Must Go pages is rendered more than
a little irritating with pop-ups and nag screens asking if you wish to
make it your home page - one "NO" should be sufficient and
repeated importuning is hard on this visitor's patience.) Also visited are
the "Sculpted Mountains of Phlegra Montes"
- again with overlays for those who cannot see the artificial features and
in particular a row of monumental sculptures.
Viewing these blurred images and the enhancements one word springs into 80's
mind - Rorschach.
S is for Skeptic
- Which link leads into the next web site The
Skeptic's Dictionary - subtitled A Guide for the New Millennium.
Described as "over 400 skeptical definitions and essays on
occult, paranormal, supernatural and pseudoscientific ideas and practices with
references to the best skeptical literature" by the originator
Robert Todd Carroll, a Professor of
Philosophy at Sacramento City College. This site was looked at before
by 80 but it has since
grown larger and more comprehensive. Well laid out and searchable it
goes beyond the original brief with a Suburban Myth
section and Mass Media Bunk so that when your
newspaper or TV station (Fox?) serves up something questionable, see if
the Skeptic's Dictionary has an entry on the subject. It serves as a good
reference source for all manner of beyond the fringe subjects and also has
links to a good number of other fascinating web pages. (One of the best of
these is Hillhouse Psychic
Detective Agency - a vital stop if you are plagued by ghosts and the
like. As Hillhouse says "By working with
our highly trained, Certified Psychic Technicians (CPTs) you can be
sure that your difficulties will be sincerely and discreetly eliminated.
Hillhouse also guarantees a 0% Residual Paranormal Aftereffect (RPA). Once
we kill a ghost, it stays killed! No other company can make this offer!
Remember: If you
believe, then we believe!" X-Files look out!
Monstrous Scheme
- In passing 80
notes that Nessie is back in the news - or
rather yet another hi-tech search for the elusive (read non-existent)
beastie. The grandly titled Global
Underwater Search Team, GUST, plan to use a high resolution sonar
system to scan through the murky peat-laden water - similar searches,
albeit with less sophisticated gear, have drawn a blank previously and it
is unlikely that this one will be any different. As 80
has remarked before
there is simply not enough food in the Loch to sustain a population of
large beasts such as Nessie is supposed to
be. Much more debatable is the second part of GUST's strategy which is to
use a large net with a trapdoor to catch the beast and snag a DNA sample
before releasing it again. As wildlife authorities and others have pointed
out the most likely result of such a strategy would be drowned otters or
seals trapped underwater. The Nessie search
is undoubtedly a good plug for the suppliers of the sonar gear etc and
also for the Loch Ness tourist industry but if such a project results in
one dead otter or seal, as far as 80 is
concerned, then that is not a price worth
paying.
Implants To Go
- 80 has long
been interested in the concept of extraterrestrial life and has often
lamented the fact that most alien
abductees are not exactly planet Earth's
finest - now the answer may be at hand - Alien
Abductions Incorporated. To
quote this fine institution "Thousands
of individuals are abducted by extraterrestrial beings each year. Who do
the aliens choose, and
why haven't they chosen you?" In a technological tour-de-force
reminiscent of "Total
Recall" AAI can implant an abduction experience into your brain
including "one of our fetishist's
specials--interspecies breeding, medical
experimentation--it's all up to you. Whether you select a solo
abduction or one of our special Group Abduction packages
(great for corporate
retreats, school groups, and theme parties), AAI gives you the best
abduction for the lowest price."
Also on offer is the installation of your own front yard crop circle - a
unique conversation piece. There is even an online
version of their Abductalizer
- "the only machine in existence
that is capable of accurately computing an individual's
Personal Abduction
Analysis Factor (PAAF)." Well, what are you waiting for?
Hollow Halley
- Now 80 is the
last to claim omniscience but had thought that the idea of the hollow
Earth (and Venus and Mercury) started with Captain John Cleves Symmes in
1823 and since had been discredited but a glance at the
Hollow
Planets web site, the work of one Jan Lamprecht
shows how wrong one can be. Lamprecht, an "original thinker"
(OT) to use Patrick Moore's kindly term, not only seems to think the
so-called terrestrial planets are hollow but also has an eye on the gas
giants such as Jupiter as well (the words porcine aviation spring
uncharitably to mind). Lamprecht traces the genesis of this idea to none
other than Sir
Edmund Halley. Lamprecht has obviously done a lot of research on the
past history of the hollow Earth idea and fascinating reading it is. Sadly
none of this makes any of it true and Lamprecht fails to refute the
excellent evidence of the
makeup of the Earth's interior gleaned from seismology
and plate
tectonics. In support of his ideas Lamprecht is happy to
cite continental drift (plate tectonics) as a theory
at first ridiculed and then accepted with obvious implications
for his own theories, yet then goes on to suggest that plate
tectonics may after all be an illusion. This seems to indicate a certain
inconsistency and a tendency to cherry pick only supportive evidence -
something many OTs do. Another hallmark of this mindset is to selectively
appeal to religion/mythology
(80 makes no great distinction between the
two). This usually means an overdependence on Judaeo/Christian bible
stories (for most published OTs seem to be heir to the Western tradition).
Lamprecht at least includes a reference to Tibetan and Eskimo (sic) legend
and even Dungeons and Dragons! (Nessie crops up here as well as it is
suggested that the Hollow Earth may be a refuge for such lake
monsters and assorted dinosaurs.) Another ransacker of the bible for
evidence of his theories was Immanuel
Velikovsky, he of the Solar System as a non-Newtonian pool table with
comets turning into planets and careering around to fit biblical
"events". (In fact Lamprecht's mention of "the
work of a Russian scientist who believed that certain short period comets
were ejected from Jupiter"
would seem to refer to Velikovsky but 80
failed to find his name in the sources quoted. Strangely enough both L
Sprague de Camp and Willy
Ley are cited elsewhere on these pages which surely would have them
spinning in their respective graves!)
There is a great deal more on this site but
some things are surprisingly lacking (did I hear the words rigorous
proof?) for 80 is sadly unable to find a
reference to Brinsley
Le Poer Trench, one time president of Contact International and past
vice-president of the British UFO
Research Association, (see past View)
who, in 1976, produced a book, "Secret of the
Ages" linking UFOs with the hollow earth.
In case Lamprecht has possibly missed this 80
offers the information to facilitate further research. Trench was also a
member of the British House of Lords (or Jurassic Park) and initiated a debate
on UFOs.
Miscellaneous Madness
- A site worth noting, but possibly not for
the sensitive, is Cruel Site of the Day.
To 80's hardened sensibilities the sites
featured are hardly cruel and some
(certainly not all) are hysterically funny - but then humor is a personal
thing as is the ability to even detect a joke in the first place. The
latter trait is missing from the FBI who actually investigated
the palpably fake Bonsai Kitten
site which is "dedicated to preserving the long
lost art of body modification in housepets". (But see an
earlier View- on Cybercats.)
Also worth a look and featured
on Cruel Site is Fishing
for Squirrels - which surely needs no explanation.
Quotes
"The health food industry has
successfully lobbied to prevent Codex from setting any standards or
guidelines in relation to herbal remedies. Health food enthusiasts
therefore have full licence to poison themselves as they see fit."
Alan Randell of Codex,
the advisory body for the UN Food and Agriculture Organization and the
World Health Organization (quoted in New Scientist no.2281)
"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."
anon.
" There are three kinds of men. The
ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of
them have to pee on the
electric fence for themselves. " Will Rogers
