These pages will feature small
articles, some of which have been published elsewhere, which attempt to take
a different tack in how to react to various paranormal claims - leavened
with a degree of humor - contributions are invited and may be sent to the
email address at the bottom of the home page. Submissions are not guaranteed
inclusion and if so may be edited - no changed item will be posted without
the author's agreement and copyright remains with the author.
AN IMMODEST PROPOSAL
(originally published in Skeptical Adversaria - see
ASKE page details)
(The ideas below came from taking a (very) sideways look at the ASKE
challenge, James Randi's Challenge and the
Australian
Skeptics challenge.)
One of my favorite science fiction novels is The Stars My Destination
(Alfred Bester 1956 also known in the UK as Tiger,Tiger). The story begins
with the discovery of a laboratory technician's power to teleport himself
away from life threatening situations - in this case a fire in the lab.
Once this ability is noticed by superiors and colleagues the tech, Jaunte,
is forced into one potentially lethal trap after another, that the
phenomenon may be studied with the proper scientific rigor. In the novel
Jaunte survives, the technique is taught to others and human society is
revolutionised by the ability to "jaunt".
This set me thinking - is it possible to test for so-called paranormal
powers - members of ASKE already know the answer to that question - but do
it in such a way to benefit others, prove the reality or otherwise of
these powers, and, most importantly, if the powers prove imaginary, weed
out out those that lay claim to them? A sort of Darwinian elimination
process with the added benefit that if, and it is a very big if, such
powers are real they would very definitely be seen to work. (Which leads
to the obvious point why aren't we all endowed with such powers if they
are beneficial to survival?)
The first test I originally suggested in a letter sent some time ago to
two well-known skeptical publications but sadly it did not see print. (By
the time you have read this letter you may understand why.) One of the
most accepted, claimed paranormal powers is dowsing. The public somehow do
not associate this old practice with other equally unlikely claims such as
telepathy or telekinesis. It does seem to have a different feel to it and
to most people it is just an accepted practice that they don't really
question. This needs changing.
Dowsers, when asked of their methods, are seldom consistent as to what is
required in order to find underground targets, be it gold, water or oil.
But they are all definite on their consistent ability to find the sought
after material. Also a common claim amongst the paranormal community is
that if their supposed power is used for personal gain it will redound
upon them to their disadvantage. (I have not heard this argument mentioned
with regard to dowsing in particular but I would not be at all surprised,
it being a component of "magical" thinking. It is also a common argument
about financially rewarding challenges - but then the prize can be donated
to charity.) So a test is needed that will conclusively prove that dowsing
definitely is real and also useful in benefiting others. Given the above
reasoning it seems to me only one thing will do and that is to use dowsers
to look for landmines. This would meet all the criteria with the added
benefit that the inept or charlatan dowsers would be eliminated leaving
only those with the true knack. Many people will say that this is a
facetious, unpleasant and sick idea to which I can only answer, yes.
The second test is also, by some standards, in questionable taste. It will
attempt to verify under extreme conditions a particular form of the
supposed power of telekinesis. Picture if you will a Houdini-style setup,
comprising of a large metal tank with a lockable door, operated by a key
on the outside and inside. A porthole in the side for observation is part
of the design as is the pipe to carry the water that floods the tank. A
suitable subject then needs to be found. Ideally someone who claims to be
able to distort the shape of metal objects by their paranormal power. What
kind of objects? Well spoons for one, but for our purposes a key will be
the necessary "bendee".
It is proposed the subject, who, for convenience, we shall give the
identifier U., is searched thoroughly for any concealed implements -
preferably by an expert, such as a good stage magician. Once U. is
verified as "clean" he is placed in the tank and the door is locked and
the water supply turned on. Now the subject, before incarceration, is
presented with a key that will open the door from the inside - but this
key is bent out of shape (do you begin to get the picture?). U. then has
the chance to use the famed metal bending powers to straighten the key,
open the door and emerge, possibly somewhat damp, but alive. The tricky
bit - and suggestions are welcomed on this point - is how to stop U.
straightening the key the "easy way", to use a Randiism, i.e. with good
old muscle power. Front runner in ways to do this is not to bend the key
so much as to twist it - such deformation being much harder to reverse. I
am aware that this may not be the best solution so, as I say, suggestions
are welcome.
Now the few friends and acquaintances that I have exposed to the above
ideas tell me that they are, apart from being, in their opinion,
unworkable, above all cruel and certainly politically incorrect. In my
more lucid moments I agree with them. The rest of the time I find it a
pleasant mental exercise to think of increasingly torturous thought
experiments particularly when confronted with yet more so-called evidence
for the paranormal and the charlatans and self-deluded who lay claim to
the powers of that non-existent realm,
Skepsis
ASTROLOGY AND ACCOUNTABILITY
(originally published in Skeptical Adversaria - see
ASKE page details)
It is hard to avoid them - in your newspaper, on TV, in magazines and on
web pages. What are they? Astrology forecasts for your particular
birthsign and the like. Even the most hardened skeptic can tell you
whether they are Libra or Scorpio. Not that you have to believe the
rubbish to know your "star sign" but even in the so-called modern world
this stuff is still so very pervasive. I am sure I am not alone in the
immense irritation felt when confronted with say, Russell Grant's
syndicated smirk pictured above a complete waste of column inches. Or the
sadness and anger at the premium rate Tarot line adverts aimed at the very
people who can least afford to be kept hanging on the line whilst their
friendly psychic adviser charges them £1 a minute.
Another feature of the "modern world" is the much discussed advance of
what has been called the compensation culture - where everything has a
price, from the loss of a relative to a scalding from gulping microwaved
fast food. It has been claimed that UK society is heading the way of the
USA with an abundance of lawyers promoting a fierce litigiousness amidst
accusations of such practices as "ambulance chasing".
The idea has ocurred to me, and I am sure that it is not original, that
the two things described above, neither desirable singly, could be put
together to some benefit. Suppose someone followed the advice given by the
astrologer, psychic line, whatever, vague as it usually is, and it led to
some form of say, emotional damage, financial loss or another outcome
detrimental to that someone's wellbeing - could they sue? Currently the
astrological columns peddle their claptrap without having to be
accountable in any way for the advice they offer to the lonely, the
lovelorn and the just plain gullible. In the UK we have some pretty
effective consumer protection laws and regulations. Can these not be
employed in calling the astrological and psychic forecast peddlers to
account, preferably financially? (A threat to the wallet tends to have
more immediacy.) Even if the only end result was similar to that achieved
by some US skeptics, an astrological column disclaimer stating that it is
"for entertainment only", would not such a small victory be worth it?
Those more informed on consumer protection law will very likely say this
idea is unworkable but, if suitably aggrieved users of astrological or
psychic advice were found, and their cases were promoted well enough, the
very publicity might at least force people to reassess what many people
tell me is "just a bit of harmless fun". Having seen the money spent by a
gullible and vulnerable acquaintance on "talismans" and similar trash from
the Maria Duval organisation it is obvious none of this stuff is harmless
and the Russell Grants of this world are but the thin (?) end of the
wedge. If the hobbling of the newspaper astrology columns is but a small
first step it is certainly, to this writer, a worthwhile one. I would be
most interested if anyone knows of any attempts to "get legal" with these
charlatans and whether success was achieved.
